Goal setting is always a struggle for me….. Big, airy ideas, a sudden dive in the deep end… sink, swim, gasp for air, flounder… That is the easy stuff. Taking a serious look at what I want to do, what my real goals, actually put it done and commit to them, now THAT is scary stuff!
But I am learning!
Give me tasks, projects, holidays, social skill groups for ASD kids, timetables of therapists, other people’s businesses, no problemo. I can plan, multi task, flowchart, schedule, review and reassess new directions with clarity and decisive objectives to within an inch of its life.
Trying to nail my own personal goals down, truly reflect on what makes my heart sing and set myself on a path to realise dreams I have avoided out of fear of utter failure, rejection or realising that I really don’t have a dream. Well that is a whole different ball park. I have spent decades drifting along, going with the flow, jumping into something without really planning on it, jumping right back out, never truly feeling satisfied in my career. I am not saying that I have hated all my jobs, I have had some great jobs, learnt so much, met wonderful people but never really felt that this is really me. Some fit for a while but still I feel the need to move on. A new challenge.
But life takes its own turns without asking permission. For the past 13 years I have had some really unexpected twists and turns as I bring up my two gorgeous kids who are both such amazing souls and both are on the Autism Spectrum. So I have had new challenges galore, new things to learn, therapies to implement, ever changing goals. My need to get things done for others was well and truly fulfilled, filled to over flowing in fact.
But now I am feeling the need reassess and maybe finally it is time for me. Time to commit to me. I am at a weird point in my life and I am finding myself in unfamiliar territory. I think it is time to chase my dreams. But first I need to realise what my dreams really look like, not someone else’s suggestions or idea of me. For the past few year’s I have worked through an amazing workbook/journal to help me with my personal life. Leonie Dawson’s Amazing Life Workbook (see link below) has really helped me through some tough bits in life but personal reflection and setting meaningful goals were just as challenging as what life was throwing in my path. Each year I learn alot about myself and I get what I need at the time but rarely push myself out of my comfort zone. That changed last year when I decided to do my Amazing Life Workbook as an art journal. Wow, things started to change. Art kept popping up as a key element. The idea of actually selling my art started to emerge and I actually felt comfortable about it. It started when a friend ‘encouraged me repeatedly’ to enter a painting into a charity art show she was co-ordinating. I totally baulked at this initially, I couldn’t see myself as a real artist, that my art was really something that may be liked by people outside my family… Hung somewhere other than on my Mum’s fridge door! But something stirred and I went with it. I ended up putting 4 pieces into the art show. When I went to the opening night, I was totally blown away that one of them had already sold. Seriously, I think I walked around the artshow grinning like the Cheshire Cat. When I went back at the end of the show to pick up the remaining ones I found another had been sold. A third one sold a few weeks later. I was totally gobsmacked. I started to think about this and how good it felt that other people actually valued my art enough to part with their hard earned cash for it. Thats about as far as it took it for a while. Then a rather sudden turn in health and I found myself thinking it was time for a career change. I started to think about my art.
So I started to think about how to approach this, what would I need to do…. I started to really think about this and got excited.
So this time, when I got my 2014 Amazing Life Workbook it also came with the Amazing Biz Workbook.
So to finally get to the point of this particularly long ramble, I am finally going to “commit to myself”, I have started to set myself some goals, REAL goals and start digging to see what my dreams really do look like. I know art is the foundation of these dreams and it is time for me to take a personal risk and create more art.
Seriously, the worse thing that can happen is that I end up with alot canvases and drawings around our home, right?
Cheers, I have got some goals to contemplate and my 2014 Amazing Life and Biz Workbooks to work on!